Warp Speed

I feel like life is going warp speed right now.  I can remember being in grade school and parts of high school thinking time could not possibly be moving any slower and now in the blink of an eye my baby goes from being this tiny beautiful creature in my arms to a crawling, teething, and moving disaster!  I still think he is a beautiful creature but he sure has me on the go these days.  Hence the fact that my blogs are no longer a journal of day to day activities but rather a brief “here’s what has been going on for the past month”….oh well, you take what you can get at this point.  My fear (which I am positive will come true) is that this will only intensify in the next few weeks, months and years.  So here goes my much overdue post on life at the Harper’s for the past month or so.

Eli is now 9 months old.  Here is a listing of his new found capabilities and habits:

-Crawling (his first attempt can be seen in this post)- he is now MUCH MUCH faster

-Pulling up on pretty much anything (not cruising furniture quite yet but I see that on the horizon)

-Two bottom teeth and 2 top teeth have started to peak through

-Currently going to bed while still awake and does not cry when put to bed (this took some training though)

-Has recently decided that he does not like naps and instead would rather be the crankiest baby from about 4pm until he goes to bed

-Giggles and laughs at all kinds of things especially when mommy is tickling him or giving him “the look” (basically I give him this look that I can’t believe he just did whatever it was that he did…usually when he toots or as we like to call it “makes a noise” and he just starts cracking up…it is quite humorous)

-Beginning to dabble in real solid food- latest solid meal consisted of roast beef, carrots, potatoes, and mushrooms

-Favorite past time….going after the kitty (poor Saydee, good thing she is faster than him)

-Blows constant raspberries when he doesn't have a pacifier in his mouth

-Waves "bye bye" when saying bye to daddy in the morning and again when saying bye to the daycare on the way home

-Gives high five when you put your hand up 

We have also been staying busy with projects around the house.  We recently painted the living room, foyer, and all the hallways.  That is pretty much the only project that we have completely finished.  In the works we also have a picture frame collage wall, homemade ottoman (constructed by my dad) waiting for me to upholster, hanging of a new painting we just bought, and making curtains for the living room.  If it wasn’t for my pure indecisiveness these projects would be much further along...wish I could just make a decision and go with it!  Anyways, there will be pictures coming once I get on it and finish this stuff up!

Here are some are a few pics from this past weekend.  Eli loves riding in this backpack (was actually used for Chase 11 years ago!)  Dad used to do this exact same thing with Chase.  Eli loved it, but it must have been exhausting! ;-)

 

Well that is a look at the Harper household at a glance… I will try to get things rolling and give updates as soon as I get the chance!  

Anyone else feel like life is flying by or anyone else have decision making problems??  Tell me about it in the comments!

On the MOVE

After 2 months of getting up on all fours and rocking and scooting backwards, Eli FINALLY took his first steps forward!!  Here is the video of his first crawl!  Ignore the lack of furniture and paint supplies on the floor, we are in the middle of some cha-cha-changes...more to come on that later! ;-)

Reflections

Well I am easing my way back into the blogging world.  For those of you who know me, you know I recently lost my mom to brain cancer on December 23^rd.  A misconception I had about terminal illnesses and deaths that were expected was that it would be easier to deal with knowing that it was coming.  Well I am here to tell you that it is NOT any easier because for those months, days, hours leading up to it you really can't grasp the reality of it.  It has been a rough few months but these last couple of weeks without her have by far been the hardest.  To be honest, the past 18 months have been rough but there was a pretty long stretch there in the middle where things seemed to be almost back to normal.  We were able to spend some real quality time together after her diagnosis back in June 2010, unfortunately any amount of time seems insignificantly too short right now.  The thing I am most grateful for is that she was there when Eli was born and got to spend 6 months with him.  I do not know how I would have made it through the labor without her…she stayed by my side throughout the night without any sleep, rubbing my shoulders, getting me drinks of water and then emphatically telling me “NOT TO PUSH” when I was begging that I was ready but the doctors were telling me to wait.  She did all of this while on chemo and did not complain a single bit…but that is how she was…everyone else came first. 

I will never forget lying in the bed at the hospital after Eli was born with her in the chair next to me holding Eli as he slept on his first day of life.  I remember jokingly telling her to get it all in now because Debbie (my mother in law) would be there shortly and she may never get to hold the baby again (those that know my mother in law, know how excited she was and still is to get her hands on Eli).  My mother just sat there and slowly rocked Eli staring upon his sweet little face and began to cry as she told him that she may only get to hold him for a short amount of time…my joking comment was all too real to her. 

The thing about my mother is that those sad moments were very rare…even when the future was very grim.  She didn’t want us to sit around and be sad all the time; she wanted life to continue and not to be focused around her being sick.  This was very apparent when my mother was told that the tumor was growing again back in April of 2011; the weekend before my baby shower at her house.  She was devastated when she found out and the next day she made a phone call to me that I will never forget.  She was positive she would not live 2 more months (she ended up making it 8 more months) and she cried on the phone with me as she told me she didn’t think she would make it to Stacey’s wedding and that she was so grateful to have spent 10 wonderful years with Chase but that she was very worried about how difficult this was going to be on him.  I reassured her that this was the reason that God put Chase in our lives with Stacey and me so much older…so we could help take care of him after she was gone.  We talked on the phone for almost an hour and at the end of the conversation she said “Ok, well we aren’t going to talk about this again and we are going to spend this weekend at your baby shower as if nothing were wrong.  This baby shower is about you and I want everyone to have a good time.”  I halfheartedly agreed and the moment I got home shared an extra long hug with her but never spoke of it again.  That weekend will always be etched into my memory as a great weekend.

So now that she is gone, there are times when I feel like I will always be sad.  Every object around me reminds me of something about her and at any given moment I can burst into tears. There is this huge disconnect for me.  In my mind I picture her in perfect health, beauty and youth and in reality she is gone.  What I try to remember though, is that my mother wanted life to go on.  She did not want us to sit around and be sad the weekend of my baby shower and she does not want us to sit around and be sad now.  She would want us to come together and support each other as a family and to keep moving forward.  I know that she is in heaven looking down on us, guiding us in every step that we take.  I am still struggling to not be sad when I think of her but it helps to think of how she handled everything.  She would not want us to miss what is going on around us now because we were too caught up thinking about how it used to be. 

 And on that note, here are some pictures from Eli’s first Christmas…