My Last Week :-(

I have been dreading having to go back to work since the day after Eli was born...literally.  The day after Eli was born I laid in bed and cried and cried.  Mark kept asking "What is wrong?"...I really was not sure exactly why I was bawling my eyes out (can you say hormones?) and all I could think was that I never wanted to leave this little boy...EVER!  Mark laughed and tried to comfort me by saying "You have 9 weeks before you have to think about that!"  I knew that the 9 weeks were going to go WAY TOO fast and they did.

The week before we left for Missouri, Eli and I went to childcare orientation.  We met his childcare teacher and stayed for a while just talking.  Everything seemed pretty good but the longer I stayed the more I began to realize that I was going to be leaving my baby.  As soon as we got into the car I broke down in tears for the entire ride home.  That was 3 weeks ago and I feel no different about the situation.  This is my last week at home with Eli and every morning I realize I am one more day closer to leaving him for work.  I am pretty sure that next week will be a VERY emotional week for me.  I just pray that he enjoys daycare and that I am able to stop crying.

I have been pretty nervous about being able to get up and out the door in decent time.  So this morning I woke up at 5:10am, took a shower, got dressed and then woke Eli up to get him dressed and ready.  I was able to nurse him right before I left and I arrived at the daycare center on base at about 6:45am.  This will work good so that I will be at work by 7am.  Eli and I spent about 3 hours at the daycare center.  The women there were very nice and very good with the babies.  I know Eli will be in good hands but that does not make it any easier.  I still sat at the daycare and cried just thinking of leaving him there for a whole day.  The women there kept telling me that he will be ok and that it will be hard for me but that it will get easier.  I hope so.

To make it an even more emotional day, today was Eli's 2 month doctor's appointment.  And along with his 2 month appointment came his first vaccinations.  I held his little hands and tried to comfort  him as tears rolled down both our cheeks while he was given his shots.  I hated to see him cry in pain like that but the crying did not last long.  Eli is now 23" long and 10 lb 4 oz.  He is in the 50% for his height and 25% for his weight.  The doctor told me that everything looked good and that he was perfect!

Please pray that I will be able to make it through my first week at work.  I am going to miss this little boy like CrAzy!